The beach.
What was I smoking when I said "Let's go to the beach!" about a week ago?? Granted, it was a spur of the moment vacation that came with the spur of the moment vacation time, but still. The beach?! We could have gone almost anywhere, but we decided to borrow a relative's house that was under remodel and go see the sights.
Let me preface this next part by saying we had a very good time and Robbie showed me how much of a "big boy" he was. However, as with most beach trips, there were parts, that, quite frankly, I could have done without.
Let's start with the drive. Did you know it takes 23.6 hours to drive from Greenwood to Myrtle Beach? Ok, it only took five hours, but with a four-year-old in the car babbling and asking, "Is this going to take a long time to get there?" every 3.5 minutes, it seemed like an eternity. I was pleased that I didn't have to listen to "his songs" the entire trip. "His songs" consist of every kids' song and Veggie Tale song in our kid's music collection. I can only take so much of "John Jacobjingleheymerschmit" before I'm ready to drive off an overpass. The traffic during the drive there wasn't too bad. The traffic there and on the way home showed me why I will never live in the big city. I hate other drivers. That's as simple as I can get. On a related note, I only gave my wife two heart attacks while driving on this trip.
The sun, which paired with the heat, was bearable, that is if you're a camel! We got to the beach on the first day of a heat wave that made the inside of an oven set on broil feel like a freezer. We had a pool we could use while at the house, which made things a little more comfortable, except that whenever my pasty white skin and the sun, mixed with water, interact, I'm guaranteed to turn into a lobster. This trip was no different. As I sit here typing this, I look reminiscent of a leper during Old Testament days. I'm red, peeling and nasty feeling. I used to be able to deal with the sun. Not so much anymore.
Along with the sunburn came the heat exhaustion. Did you know that if you mix a bad sunburn with 100+ degree temperatures and hot asphalt, you get the ingredients for a quick death? We went to Broadway at the Beach after I received my gift from the sun. I apparently lost the ability to sweat after getting out of the pool. There were several times that I thought I was going to hit the pavement and Fly Away to Glory. Luckily, there are 2,492 little shops at this particular tourist destination that were blissfully air conditioned. We rode some rides, but for the rest of the time there, I was store hopping for relief from the heat.
Speaking of rides, I have the bravest kid on God's Green Earth! He's 4. When I was four, I was hesitant to get on a Merry Go Round. My kid wanted to ride the pirate ship ride. He rode it FIVE times with his mother. He rode the adult swings four times with me. He rode one of those round and round things that goes really fast forward then backward. He loved that. I didn't ride one of those rides until I was 10. He rode the kiddy rides too, but would have rather ridden the adult rides instead. Also, he drove a go-cart at NASCAR Cafe by himself! It was the one for kids, but he did VERY well. He ran over the traffic cones twice and slammed into the wall a couple of times, but he never cried or showed he was scared. I fear he'll want to go bungee jumping on his sixth birthday!
Seafood is a staple at the beach. Our trip would not be complete without a trip to a seafood buffet. I won't name the place here, but I will tell you we made ourselves sick as dogs eating there. They had so much food and desserts that I was afraid we were going to need to be taken out by ambulance. After our sumptuous repast, the missus and I declared we wouldn't be eating anything with fish in it for several weeks! I still get queasy thinking about what we ate that day.
Most of this has been about the not-so-great parts of our trip, but dear reader, please understand that I would do it all over again. The time I got to spend with my family uninterrupted by work, technology, TV, school, the dog and other stresses of family life is something that can NEVER be replaced. If the only family vacation we could take is to sit in an airport with no A/C and crowded with people infected with dysentery in the middle of August in a drought, I would do it in a skinny minute if I could spend time with my family.
I return to work Tuesday and as I'm sitting behind my computer attempting to write an intelligible headline about NATO, I'll reflect on my 2010 family vacation and wish I had Sand in My Shoes and was Under the Boardwalk Shaggin' through those Myrtle Beach Days!
