Realizing that you're getting older

It's been a rough couple of weeks in the Simmonds household. Yvonne has started a new diet to get herself in shape. I'm not participating fully in this diet, but I'm doing my own thing and trying to get off caffeine and junk food.
Talk about fun times!
I've had a headache since Sunday. No amount of Advil has helped. I've also been a lot hungrier in the past few days than normal. That could be because of my reduction in food. I'm not changing WHAT I eat, but HOW MUCH I'm eating.
You have to understand. I'm a person who can eat a large pizza by himself in one sitting. I can eat an entire package of cookies in about 2 hours. I have eaten a full roll of cinnamon rolls (8) and still had room for more! This is NOT going to help me live longer!
Adding to that is my blood pressure. Many of you know that I'm hypertensive. It's so bad I had to go on medicine so I could have surgery on my hand earlier this year. The doctor actually told me that my blood pressure was so high that putting me under anesthesia could kill me. Not good news to hear.
My dad had high blood pressure. It ultimately led to his death in 1992. I really don't want to follow in his footsteps in that regard, so I've decided to work on it.
My grandmother used to say I looked "emaciated" when I was a kid. Granted, until I entered college, I weighed, at most, 120 lbs. When I got out of college, I ballooned to 180 pounds. My ideal weight is 140, according to my doctor. When did my metabolism slow to a snail's pace? Is this what they mean when they say, "you're getting older?" Eegads!
I'll be 35 in October. Until recently, that seemed like a young age. Now that it's approaching, it doesn't feel so young any more. In fact, it feels quite ancient. To you folks reading this who are older, please reassure me that it gets better with age. Please!
I keep trying to get a grip on this "age" thing. I think back to my younger years and try to remember what it was like to feel like a birthday took forever to arrive. I try to remember how long a school year felt, how long it took for Christmas to show its face, how far away summer vacation seemed. Nowadays, it's like I blink  and another year passes. I've heard people say time flies once you have kids. How true it is! Robbie will be FIVE in April. Wasn't he just a baby?
I don't feel like a dad. I don't feel like a 35-year-old man. Man. I'm a man now. Not a kid. Not a teen. A man. Not me. I was never going to be a man. People call me Mr. Simmonds now. That was my dad, not me.
I'm watching friends' kids grow up and go to school. Several of my friends from Florence are sending their kids to school where we used to go. I can't imagine sending Robbie down the same halls I roamed in Florence. It would be too weird.
I have gray hair. GRAY HAIR!! Where did that come from? It's in my beard (when I grow it) and streaks on my head. I blame that on work and the kid. Especially work! :-)
I saw a bumper sticker one time that said "We're adults. When did that happen? How do we make it stop?" I couldn't agree with that sentiment more!
So here's to getting older. Now, if you'll excuse me, it's time to take my pills and get the gray out of my hair!

Hello God, it's me Bob. Can we talk?

Dear Heavenly Father,

It's decision time again for me.

Some things are going on in my life and I need to make some changes. Some could be quite drastic changes and happen soon at that. The problem is that I'm not real sure how to make the decisions. These decisions will affect my family and possibly my living arrangements.

No, this has nothing to do with my marriage. We're fine, thank you, but You knew that, right?

I'm at an emotional breaking point and my spiritual life needs to take over now, but I don't know how to make it work like You need it to. Let me explain my situation with a bad metaphor ...

Have you ever been to a party and you were having a good time, but you began to feel like it was time to go? In fact, you almost know that you need to leave, because the hosts of the party were standing by the door, tapping their feet impatiently? That's how I'm feeling right now. Problem is, where to go after I leave the party. It's been a good time, but it's time to go and you don't want the hosts to toss you out, so you leave graciously and hope they will still regard you well. That's me right now.

Oh, by the way, I spilled my drink all over the carpet in several places and broke some good china and crystal while I was there. I guess I'm kind of clumsy, right? I tried to clean it up, but I don't clean very well and now the hosts are mad because of my clumsiness. I can try to not be clumsy, but there are no guarantees that I won't trip again. It's just who I am. The hosts were real accommodating to my accidents at first, but now they've had enough of my messes and I think they want me to go.

God, you know my situation and I don't need to disguise my predicament with You, however there are those down here on Earth who also know my situation and understand my metaphor. For those not directly involved,  I won't go into any more detail because it's not necessary.

The problem is I was at that party a long time and I don't know if I could go to another party and be as sociable as I was at the old party. Where IS the next party? Is there even one available? I hope so because I like parties. I need parties to survive and if I can't find a good one, I'll be miserable.

Anyway, that's my dilemma. I'm frustrated that I've worn out my welcome at the party, but there are others to go to that are more fun, right? I just don't know what to do next. I guess I'll go look for somewhere to go and hope it turns out for the best because I need to leave the party NOW!

God, that's my mess. You've given me such a wonderful life and family. You've also looked out for my needs when I had them. I'm just not communicating well with You right now. I'm trying to listen for Your will and not hearing. I desperately need You now and want to hear You. Please God help me shut out the call of the world and make it where I can hear You and know what You want me to do now.

Thank you God for all that You are and what You have done for us. Please continue to be with me and my family as we go through this valley of life. You've promised that You will always be with us and I know that You will get us through this crisis.

Amen, amen and AMEN!

Myrtle Beach Days

The beach.

What was I smoking when I said "Let's go to the beach!" about a week ago?? Granted, it was a spur of the moment vacation that came with the spur of the moment vacation time, but still. The beach?! We could have gone almost anywhere, but we decided to borrow a relative's house that was under remodel and go see the sights.

Let me preface this next part by saying we had a very good time and Robbie showed me how much of a "big boy" he was. However, as with most beach trips, there were parts, that, quite frankly, I could have done without.

Let's start with the drive. Did you know it takes 23.6 hours to drive from Greenwood to Myrtle Beach? Ok, it only took five hours, but with a four-year-old in the car babbling and asking, "Is this going to take a long time to get there?" every 3.5 minutes, it seemed like an eternity. I was pleased that I didn't have to listen to "his songs" the entire trip. "His songs" consist of every kids' song and Veggie Tale song in our kid's music collection. I can only take so much of "John Jacobjingleheymerschmit" before I'm ready to drive off an overpass. The traffic during the drive there wasn't too bad. The traffic there and on the way home showed me why I will never live in the big city. I hate other drivers. That's as simple as I can get. On a related note, I only gave my wife two heart attacks while driving on this trip.

The sun, which paired with the heat, was bearable, that is if you're a camel! We got to the beach on the first day of a heat wave that made the inside of an oven set on broil feel like a freezer. We had a pool we could use while at the house, which made things a little more comfortable, except that whenever my pasty white skin and the sun, mixed with water, interact, I'm guaranteed to turn into a lobster. This trip was no different. As I sit here typing this, I look reminiscent of a leper during Old Testament days. I'm red, peeling and nasty feeling. I used to be able to deal with the sun. Not so much anymore.

Along with the sunburn came the heat exhaustion. Did you know that if you mix a bad sunburn with 100+ degree temperatures and hot asphalt, you get the ingredients for a quick death? We went to Broadway at the Beach after I received my gift from the sun. I apparently lost the ability to sweat after getting out of the pool. There were several times that I thought I was going to hit the pavement and Fly Away to Glory. Luckily, there are 2,492 little shops at this particular tourist destination that were blissfully air conditioned. We rode some rides, but for the rest of the time there, I was store hopping for relief from the heat.

Speaking of rides, I have the bravest kid on God's Green Earth! He's 4. When I was four, I was hesitant to get on a Merry Go Round. My kid wanted to ride the pirate ship ride. He rode it FIVE times with his mother. He rode the adult swings four times with me. He rode one of those round and round things that goes really fast forward then backward. He loved that. I didn't ride one of those rides until I was 10. He rode the kiddy rides too, but would have rather ridden the adult rides instead. Also, he drove a go-cart at NASCAR Cafe by himself! It was the one for kids, but he did VERY well. He ran over the traffic cones twice and slammed into the wall a couple of times, but he never cried or showed he was scared. I fear he'll want to go bungee jumping on his sixth birthday!

Seafood is a staple at the beach. Our trip would not be complete without a trip to a seafood buffet. I won't name the place here, but I will tell you we made ourselves sick as dogs eating there. They had so much food and desserts that I was afraid we were going to need to be taken out by ambulance. After our sumptuous repast, the missus and I declared we wouldn't be eating anything with fish in it for several weeks! I still get queasy thinking about what we ate that day.

Most of this has been about the not-so-great parts of our trip, but dear reader, please understand that I would do it all over again. The time I got to spend with my family uninterrupted by work, technology, TV, school, the dog and other stresses of family life is something that can NEVER be replaced. If the only family vacation we could take is to sit in an airport with no A/C and crowded with people infected with dysentery in the middle of August in a drought, I would do it in a skinny minute if I could spend time with my family.

I return to work Tuesday and as I'm sitting behind my computer attempting to write an intelligible headline about NATO, I'll reflect on my 2010 family vacation and wish I had Sand in My Shoes and was Under the Boardwalk Shaggin' through those Myrtle Beach Days!